So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
