Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
