just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Randomize
