He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
