he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
