this beer tastes like vomit already
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
