So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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