roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
