Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
