cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
