This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
