dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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