Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
