Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
