I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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