I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
