How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He has the fingertips of a God
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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