K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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