I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
