smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
