would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
