I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'd cum for enchiladas.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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