they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
