She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
