just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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