Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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