Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
