Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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