I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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