Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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