the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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