Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
