What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
