I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize