Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
