Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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