Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
