Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
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