GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
