Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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