im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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