bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
