Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
