Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
