I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i love accidental penises.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
