I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
