I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
