Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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