dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
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