Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
