Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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