I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
